Satire

Five and Twenty

~ Iyan Igma

A. E. Housman warned me
But could not prepare me for you.
How could I heed the sagacious,
When you’re too good to be true?

Here now I’m five and twenty,
Having once been twenty-two,
Despaired from giving my heart in vain,
And hopelessly smitten with you.

And now my heart is bleeding,
And this fantasy can’t be true.
I don’t think my age would matter,
Thirty-five or sixty-two,

My heart would be laid open
Hoping for mercy from you.
I’ve no “pounds and crowns and guineas,“
Only love can I give to you.

How could you be satisfied
Just to be cherished a lifetime through?
I wish I had more to offer,
Like I wish to remain with you.

You’re marvelous and irresistible,
The most amazing woman I e’er knew!
And though I know it’s hopeless,
I know that I’m in love with you.

Hear now my sighs a-plenty,
But take me in your arms anew.
I can hurt and bleed tomorrow,
But for now let me treasure you. . .

I’ve loved these wondrous weeks—
A spring flower that early grew
Ere the last frost of the season.
Eternally I will miss you.

How can I e’er love again
Without recalling loving you?
And so it will ne’er be bittersweet
But sour to live without you.
How shall I feel completed
Having lost heart and soul to you?

And For Dulcinea

~ Iyan Igma

let me find out for myself
if she’s bad for me
please don’t interfere again
even should misery

await me like an angry mob
dragging me to the guillotine
just be a grandmother
quilting at the gruesome scene

who wants a little of my blood
to speckle her as my head falls.
i can’t listen to your advice,
for love awaits and duty calls.

like a hero I must rush in
my sword flashing with derring-do;
maybe I’ll be victorious
just bid me luck and sad adieu.

Sancho Panza, you can’t save me,
and there is no panacea
to prevent me fighting windmills
for love and for Dulcinea.

El Vicio de Amor

~ Iyan Igma

I don’t smoke or drink or bite my nails,
Huff fumes, or sniff paint or glue.
I’m not a glutton for junk food or snails,
Nor do I sleep soundly the whole day through.

I avoid drugs as if they are a plague,
And I don’t even gamble with my life.
I don’t call in sick for faux-ague;
My words don’t bludgeon or cut like a knife.

I’m known for my valor and sincerity,
For being selfless and full of virtue.
I’m not full of lust or venality.
In fact, my only vice is loving you.

For everyone honestly seems to think
(As if they honestly thought I cared)
That you have caused my brain to shrink,
And I’m intoxicated, crazed, and impaired.

Make Canis Majoris Dim

~ Iyan Igma

Just wait until I shine again,
Then you can’t bear to see
The hypergiant your black hole
Tried to snuff stealthily.

I never saw how dark you were
When you were drawing near,
Until I saw that light could not
Escape your foul void’s sphere.

Shine as I might, it was no use;
You’re sucking life from me.
That’s how I gauged your dark matter,
Which not e’en you can see.

Oh, bless the vector that saved me
From the clutches of death.
I’ll make Canis Majoris dim,
Illuming heaven’s breath.

I’ll prove you’re insignificant:
‘Twas you who needed me.
I can create heat and brilliance,
But you can only feed.

Love’s Martyr

~ Iyan Igma

I starve, though food’s in the pantry
And there’s victuals in the fridge.
But everything that’s edible
Is as sustaining as a midge.

I have a need food can’t fulfill,
Despite how much chocolate I’d eat.
I see myself wasting away
Like morale when armies retreat.

There’s no one that could give me love
Or who’d be content to barter.
I’d gladly give my heart away
If I could just be love’s martyr.

Burning Beauty Across the Sky

~ Iyan Igma

O Love, you fickle meteor
Burning beauty across the sky,
Tempting my heart with amazement,
Though you know you’ll soon die!

I wish upon you to stay,
But in an instant you’re gone.
I see the remnants of your trail;
The night and I, we are alone.

I’m the one who’s consumed,
Though you have ceased to be.
Why wish upon another when
It won’t bring you back to me?

Your Sweetest Taboo

~ Iyan Igma

Their prevailing accusations
Were of temptations I ne’er knew.
I never entertained the thought,
For such evils I did eschew.

But long and hard they accused me,
Believing their railings were true,
And after a while, I gave in
To embrace your sweetest taboo.

And now I only wonder how
I e’er lived and loved without you?
Their accusations are fulfilled;
Now there’s nothing I’d rather do.

Every Soothing Iniquity

~ Iyan Igma

With sin and darkness as my bedfellows
I rested trouble-free and calm,
And every soothing iniquity
Was my soul’s own healing balm.

With Satan as my comrade,
I had such faithful company.
My heart was ne’er sorrowed nor sad,
And I faced life courageously.

But when I tried to lie in faith
Amidst such Christian company,
My face grew long and my heart wan,
And there was naught to comfort me.

To Quote Bobby

~ Iyan Igma

Expletives but show ignorance,
No matter how great your disdain.
Show your linguistic incompetence,
And you show how small is your brain.

‘Tis finer far to belittle
And see them wrack their mind in pain
To just understand a little
Of your comment. They’ll go insane.

How much better to crush esteem
And never once raise your cool voice!
You’ll find their pain’s the sweetest dream,
Since anger’s no match for remorse.

“It’s a poor man that only can
Spell or say a word in one way.”
Fools can only insult a man
With just a handful of clichés.

Juvenile Lobotomy

~ Iyan Igma

He is exploring carefully,
Knowing he must act to be blest;
Giving his own lobotomy,
He searches with vigor and zest.

He doesn’t heed their vain protests
Or learn from their bad examples.
His cilia’s sweetly caressed;
He savours his freshest samples.

With what gusto and zeal he mines,
Looking for his golden treasures!
I rejoice at finding such signs
Life’s lived best for simple pleasures.