Mem’ry No Longer Avails

I travel alone winding trails
That I’m certain I’ve trod before,
But mem’ry no longer avails.
The past’s paths are myths, legends, lore,

And stories I would fain believe
Were I not wary of the snare;
For confusion and fact do cleave
Like fresh lovers watched unaware.

Now, I know not what I should trust,
Since man’s mortal, and love is frail.
But is it wrong to love a lie
When real history’d be a hell?

I can see how I would have crossed
Through the leaves and over the ridge
To see the imagined sights lost
By entering the covered bridge.

I see myself wrapped up in bliss,
Her hair and dress flowing, twirling,
And ‘neath the ridge we wait and kiss,
Hidden to the world that’s whirling.

We separate. I’ll come again
To see her, my heart’s decided.
Why lose her to another man?
In deception, I’ll be prided.

Look how I am covering up
The evidence of my coming.
Surely that must be why I feel
So compelled to break out running,

Certain as a groundhog’s senses
That spring is shortly due to be.
I run to her, but find fences.
Sorrow streams alluvially.

Once more to the path I return,
Quite uncertain what is real.
Why can fantasy make me burn,
Confounding the ways that I feel?

Why can’t life be hon’rable as
Fleeting dreams prematurely dead?
It fails, despite the time it has,
So I’ll prefer to dream instead.

I can make up my destinies,
No matter what I’ve been slated;
When reality mutinies,
I can muse, like it’s been fated.

For only safe within my dreams
Can I ever be satisfied,
For what is man? Truly, it seems,
Misery till the day he’s died.

Fief

‘She’s such a lovely pretty girl,’
Longingly thought the lonely earl,
And in a conscious state that was alternate
Lived in a dream he could not forget.

Waltzing in mist under moonlight,
She made for a delectable sight.
She hastily turned and laughed, as if whisked away,
And twirled and dipped, as if on her knees to pray.

She forgave him of his splendour and conceit,
Called him the most common man she did ever meet,
And, as she majestically twirled around,
He forgot about her queen’s crown.

Then, they ran off to simply live and elope
Beyond the range of the king’s power’s scope.
He’d given up his title and feudal vow,
The king might surely be angry now.

My White Love

My white love went riding
On a horse that bore her away,
But I still remember her parting words,
“I’ll be back for you someday.”

And in my dreams I wonder
Whither she might be?
I picture her gliding by,
Hair waving windily.

Upon streets of turquoise,
The clip-clop hooves have tread,
Pausing only once here and there
For migrating soda bread.

Behind her a glimmering moon
Spews butterflies into the air,
And all of them weep to praise
My mistress that graced them there.

And in my dreams I know
She loves me with all her mind,
For when she but utters my name
A smile’s all my mind’s eye can find.

Across the sparkling waves she flies
To drink at rowdy sand bars;
And when she inebriatedly brawls, she
Proves to my leaping heart women are from Mars.

Amid the clouds of snow banks
She dusts off her reining hands.
She’s coming back to me
From beyond those dull foreign strands.

And from my dreams I wake up
To a bitter reality;
I like my dreams much better,
For there she returned and kissed me.

Just Like a Woman!

Is there some kind reality
Where your company can be mine,
Or is the world of Mab’s taunting
Some palace to which you’re confined?

Does your phantasmagorical
Coquettish always have to burn
The stubble of my barren heart
Which cannot help but pine to yearn?

Must your fingers’ cruel caresses,
Like feathers and ice on my skin,
Be so tangible in visions
And felt long after the dreams end?

Is the way you laugh in delight
Honestly necessary, lass?
I still hear its fancy echo;
I’m watching your coy figure pass.

The Joust

I meet him ‘neath a copse of birch
At our ritual rendezvous,
Feigning confident comfort. My
Charger neighs at a bat that flew

By just a second hence. The cruel
And heartless Sable Knight would soon
Arrive. Luna and Astros hung
‘Bove on my dark maiden’s festoon.

I was eager to join with her
And enjoy romance for hours,
Thus his tardiness upset me.
Then, the presence of dark powers

Announced his coming long before
His dark forces manifested
Themselves as the shadowy knight’s
Dread form, in whom is invested

A power much like Charon’s, though
He never grants safe passage to
The soul over the Styx, instead
He haunts his victims with life. “You

Are late,” I growled, trying to seem
More confident than I was not.
His disregard of my contempt
Was like an haughty Tsar’s. I thought

I saw him smile. He must delight
In the futile struggle I wage
To be free of his control.
With the whimsy of his aged rage

That pervaded his actions and
Festered his mind, and to which he
Was oblivious, he said, “We’ll
Joust tomorrow, if you beat me

You can reclaim your soul and be
Free finally. Do you agree?”
I had little choice, as he knew.
“And if not, what happens to me?”

“That’s not an option. We’ll joust once
More, for you’ve sold your soul to me.
I expect you here when dawn breaks:
I’ll be keeping time faithfully.

Don’t look so glum, for tomorrow
Might be when you beat me at last.”
I doubted this, as did he, for
More than eight thousand times had passed

And made my failures bitter and
Freedom’s dream sad desperation.
I knew as well as he did what
Would befall my situation.

Tomorrow night we’d meet again
To renew this disturbed accord.
But one must fight while there’s a chance,
Though it be slim. Without a word

He ceased to be, as far as my
Eyes could see, for I was headed
For the sumptuous company
Of the maid I never wedded,

For she would drift away each day,
But then, all ladies are fickle.
We made our night a pleasant one,
And as dawn began to tickle

With feathery pinks and purples,
I made goodbye a vivid dance
Of passions to recall me by.
I donned my armour, grabbed my lance,

Mounted my steed, and galloped to
The predestined field of battle.
My sable foe’s arm threw his lance
Like an Aztec an atlatl

Where he waited idly. “You’re late;
I’ve waited for two minutes now.
Not that it matters, soon enough
You will be vanquished anyhow.

Take your place. Muster your valor.
Feign to have honor, or your mule
Might suspect its rider’s a fool.”
I ignored him. My mind was cool

As the brooks we never bathed in,
Lest we should catch our death and die.
I made ready, then he gave the
Sign, and large clumps of earth did fly

From furiously flitting hooves. Through
The visor I could see him glare
With his red eyes back at me, but
I returned his devilish stare.

I aimed a blow I was sure would
Hurtle this demon through the air,
But he absorbed the shock and seemed
Like he had not a single care.

His own blow I deflected with
My arm’s quick instincts with a shield.
The tremendous force of the thud
Jarred my bones, but I would not yield.

I barely retained my saddle,
And my lance was only splinters.
I grabbed a new lance with which to
Pummel this fiend from the hinter

Parts of the nethermost regions.
He gave the sign again. We rode
With Mercury’s own swift Godspeed,
And the dark cloud passing forebode

Of a perilous encounter.
I deflected his blow with my
Shield again, even as my own
Lance targeted his bloodstained eyes.

His visor dented, and for a
Long moment I could find no air
To breathe as he hung on the brink
Of falling metallically square

Upon his face. Did I just win?
But his gauntlets clung to his reins,
And he remained, though loosened, in
His saddle. “That rattle your brains?”

I taunted, glad to have some of
My own little arrogance back.
I regretted those words when next
We charged, for he did seem to crack

Every joint in my sore body,
Making both my ears whine and ring.
My vision clouded, and for a
Moment I could not see a thing.

Still I managed not to falter.
I was sure that I was bleeding.
My lance but grazed his black buckler.
I ruefully felt like heeding

The words of my sagacious ma’am
That “Knights in armor shouldn’t joust.”
But a wisp of teasing freedom
Whispered to me that I would oust

My adversary if I tried.
I just hoped that it hadn’t lied
To deceive this gullible heart
That, like chivalry, would nigh die.

I took a lance for the fourth time,
Vowing that I would make my mark
This day in this solitary
Tourney, and live today till dark.

As we galloped to certain death,
I thought to try a dirty deed.
At the last moment I moved my
Lance, and instead hit his black steed.

The shaft exploded and pieces
Darted through its galloping legs.
The cursed horse’s armor saved him.
His look said I would drink the dregs

Of rotten bitterness wrung out
For this treachery, as if he
Expected me to have honor
Against a ghoul that lacked any.

His silent vow was true for I
Nearly flew headlong from my horse
When he smote my shield, launching it
At my body with monstrous force.

My visor hung upon one hinge,
My breastplate and valor dented.
The rising sun caught his empty
Armour and piercingly glinted,

Blinding me for a second as
My foe began his mad gallop
Intent to rip me open like
A ray rips open a scallop.

“Charlemagne, this is it for us,”
I told my steed as we started
Our mad rush into destiny.
At least he was not faint-hearted.

His hoofbeats sound our progress, and
His nostrils are wildly flaring.
Sweat was flying. I could tell not
One ounce of strength was he sparing.

The lance a dull and deadly weight
In my arm. The saddle creaking.
The broken visor’s fierce whistle.
The armor clanging and squeaking.

The Sable Knight is upon me.
At this moment I am not scared.
His horse was in a rabid rage.
Then it sounded like trumpets blared,

Though we were alone. I struck. He
Teetered. Perhaps I would prevail.
Too soon came my triumph; too soon
Came all the force and wrath of hell.

My shield is rent asunder, and
A hail of splinter shrapnel flies.
Pain rips through me as the head of
His lance plunges where my heart lies,

Through the heavy plated armor
And chain mail deep into my chest.
With the furor of the Harpies,
It puts my cardiac at rest.

The lance breaks in twain as I fall
Off of Charlemagne, my dear mount.
Dust rises and dust subsides as
My corpse clatters upon the ground.

Running hooves slow and circle round;
His helmet hovers o’er my face.
Then, he lifts his dented visor,
But Fengari on Samothrace

Gives off more light and is far more
Pronounced than his features, the eyes
Of course excepted. They tell me
That it’s time to go. As death lies

Upon me like a layer of oil,
I step from my maimed cadaver.
Vile vultures come to pick at my
Warm corpse, thinking they’ve found havre

For their scavenging lusts, but I
Shall reinhabit it tonight.
He grabs my ghost and spirits me
Away from this world into light.

The knight is cold and unfeeling,
And devoid of conversation.
But that has been the case on
Each transmundial migration.

The memories of our joust fade
To eternal recollection’s
Oblivion. I sigh and groan,
Wearied by my insurrection,

From this battle which has raged for
Years, to which there’s no end in sight.
I vow I’ll best him tomorrow,
As my sight’s seared by intense light.

I’ll break the curse of my bondage,
Ending our repitual fight
For dominance by jousting. ‘Swounds,
I miss my maiden of the night!

I get up from my bed, leaving
My dreams to rot and decompose
Like ice upon a stove’s eye where
Only a memory morose

Of water might remain as it
Rejoins to the vapors unseen.
Already sections disappear
From this strange feudalistic scene.

I pound the blaring alarm and
Recognize the demonic eyes
That bested me. I must sally-
Forth to work soon, so I arise.

And There’s a Lady in the Lake

In the silence of the night,
I hear a baby crying,
And the rain is pelting me
As if it were dying.
The wind is blowing with a roar;
The trees have set to shake.
Fire balls drop in lightning form,
And there’s a lady in the lake.

Her form’s the picture of mystique,
And captivated were my eyes;
And I could no less watch her there
Than a meteor’s fiery demise.
She speaks to me through the wind
And bids my soul to obey.
I leave the safety of my lodge,
And wend myself her way.
Enchantment aptly describes
How she has me transfixed,
And I count my curséd stars,
That it’s me the lady’s picked.
I reach her, and she leans in close
To bestow a wicked kiss.
Plunging her blade into my heart,
I feel only murdered bliss.
The hammering in my ears dies,
And my heart no longer beats.
But steadily she’s kissing me,
Winking as she my dead gaze meets.
Without the utt’rance of a word,
She tells me that I am hers.
By the tone I can tell that I
Mean no more than jewels or furs.
I try to flee, and she smiles
With the smirk of wickedness.
I take a feeble step away,
And I stumble into darkness.

I awake as underground falls
Crash like a weary drake.
I feel bound and gagged like a fish
Swimming for survival’s sake.
Resurfacing at last, I feel
Alive and totally awake.
I’m free of the enchantress now.
But there’s a lady in the lake.

“Pet,” she whispers through the wind,
“Do you not see? Your force is mine.
I can slay you when I want;
I can make you beg and pine.”
I knew the truth of her words
And wondered why she would do this?
She laughed at my despair and said,
“It was just a little kiss.”
But what I lost with that kiss
No mortal should have to bear.
But I’m no more mortal than
The wind e’er blowing her hair.
She sent me forth to conquer all,
My lady’s gallant knight, indeed!
A soulless wretch lab’ring for
Her honor! Her monstrous steed!
Her fear I carried to regions
Where I “died” repeatedly,
But in the instant took back “life”,
For she never would set me free.
Slumbering kings and their dead guards
And battalions arrayed for war,
Would glimpse me for a second,
And then glimpse nothing more.
Their shafts and screams could not affect
Me, though they made me ache,
For they ne’er once affected
The lady in the lake.

How I prayed they could defeat me;
How I welcomed every slice!
But the mem’ry of her lips
Was my soul’s strengthening spice.
The salt I sowed in the ground,
The carnage I left behind,
Were blessings, if others could see
How she poisoned my soul and mind.
I am not my own, and no one
Should feel the harrows on the soul
From hating the one you love,
Who you’d love to make you whole.
Through the desert she egged me on,
And I hoped my thirst to slake.
But in the oasis’s mirage
There was a lady in the lake.

And no matter where she did send
Me, I heard her tones on the wind,
“You can climb a mountain’s glacial crest
Or chase the sun dying in the west,
But you can’t escape, make no mistake,
For I am your lady in the lake.”

“It seems my task is now all through;
There’s none alive but me and you.
I do whatever you wish,
Now may I have another kiss?”
She leaned in, and the wind spake,
“Well done, my simple, soulless snake.
Now we can spend eternity
Together through my sorcery.
None shall ever my reign break.
Now serve your Lady in the lake.”

“What shall I do?” I queried,
Wishing that time would have tarried,
Though I knew the reply.
Her smile was as soothing as lye,
As she handed me her poniard.
“Free your soul. Thrust the blade in hard.”
The evil glowed which did imbue
The blade which was to run me through,
Which once upon a cursed night stole
My humanity and my soul.
It’s funny how I’d sought to die,
But looking in her wicked eye,
Dying made me want to cry.
Her murd’rous blade I plunged in deep
Where my useless heart now did sleep.
I feel the fate she did bequeath
Me as she shows her iv’ry teeth.
It’s funny that now as I die,
I miss her kiss and begin to cry.
She’ll be the last thing I shall see,
Caressing my face laughingly.
The lips I slaughtered nations for
Shall not caress mine anymore.
My knees and vision start to shake;
She smiles, the lady in the lake.

I wake up like a cotton gin,
And a storm is blowing in.
I’m at my lodge, safe within.
What a fright that must have been.
The dream gave me cold, clammy skin.
The wind brings me a familiar laugh
That rends my soulless form in half.
Memories cause my hands to shake,
And there’s a lady in the lake.