For four hundred and thirty-six
Reasons there are not to love me
Mentally, emotionally,
Spiritually, and physically,

And that is all, I must confess,
Give or take nine thousand ten.
I am only…you know the rest,
A rare perfection among men.

None else is so complicated,
So loving them’s vain and easy;
Only patient, dedicated
Gluttons for pain could dare love me.