The Wildebeest had just graduated from high school. His family and friends gave him lots of money as presents. Having more money than he’d ever had in his life, he asked his friend the Alpaca what he should do.

“Well, I would buy a monkey. You might never have this chance again.”

So, he immediately went to the nearest monkey emporium.

“Welcome to the Empire’s Monkey Emporium. My name is Fox, I will be your emperor today.”

“Hi, Fox, your Highness. I was looking for a monkey.”

“Do you have any particular kind in mind?”

“Oh, just one that does the basics. You know, scratches itself, picks for lice, and smashes rocks together to the rhythm of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony.”

“Ah, I have just the one. I have been saving this one for years until I could find someone who could appreciate it. Give me one moment, and I will return.”

The owner could tell that he had no idea how to use his money, so he sold him a howler monkey. He’d been trying to get rid of that thing for quite some time. The racket was unbearable. He’d just never found anyone that stupid before. He charged four times the worth of the monkey, hardly repressing a smile.

“What would you do with your money after you bought a monkey?” the Wildebeest asked the emporium emperor.

“Well, I would go see a magic show.”

“Where could I find one of those?”

“Right next door. I own that shop, too.”

“Oh, thank you. You sure have been some help.”

“Don’t mention it.”

The Wildebeest went next door with his howler monkey. Rabbit was up on stage. He reached into his top hat and pulled out a human. The crowd gasped in amazement. Then, Rabbit started looking for volunteers for his next trick. The howler monkey, on seeing the crowd raise their hands and yell, was not to be outdone. Rabbit saw the monkey and recognized it from the emporium next door. He knew that its owner must have been the biggest nincompoop ever to walk on four feet.
“Yes, you there with the howler monkey. You’ll do nicely.”
The Wildebeest was uncertain about going. But since it meant so much to the howler monkey, he decided to go anyway. He figured that it would help him really get into the show.

“Do you have any insurance on your monkey?” Rabbit asked.

“No, should I?”

“Yes, you can’t go around with monkeys without getting them insured. Plus, this is a very valuable monkey.”

“Oh, I didn’t know that. Where do I go to get insurance on my monkey?”

“I can do that right here. I do home, life, and monkey insurance on the side.”

“Wow, it’s a good thing that I ran into you.”

“Yes, it is. As a favor, you can list me as your monkey’s benefactor.”

“That would be a good idea.”

“Do you have insurance?”

“No, should I?”

“Of course. You can’t volunteer in a magic show without having life insurance. How would you get paid if you died during a trick?”

“Wow. I hadn’t thought about that either.”

“I’ll help you with these forms. You should list me as your benefactor. That way you show your good faith that the trick will work.”

“Okay,” Wildebeest said.

After signing, Rabbit took Wildebeest and his howler monkey up on the stage. They were laid on the table. Then, Rabbit and his lovely assistant sawed them both in half.

Moral: A fool and his monkey are quickly parted.