I tell you, Bambi sure tastes good,
Like you secretly knew he would.
There’s nothing quite as delicious
As venison in your dishes,
Except for quite possibly veal—
Young calves make such a tender meal.
‘Tis better than eating my own
Young or even those that have grown.
How dare you get upset I eat
Bambi sausage and ground deer meat!
Would you rather that I famish
Because your stomach’s so squeamish?
Deer’s just as good a meat as cow;
It’s better for you anyhow.
Its flavor’s great. What about pigs?
They’re fattened up until they’re big,
Their necks are slit, and their blood’s drained.
Then, they’re butchered up. Have you feigned
That cruelty to pigs is better,
Since farm animals don’t matter?
Do you think how their intestines
Are strung out as fate predestines
To be used for sausage lining
After the meat’s finished grinding?
Will you think of that with each bite
You take of pork? Will you delight
As well in chickens? Aren’t chicks cute?
You’d not eat something so minute,
Would you? But then it’s a real shame
That fate so loudly does proclaim
That they’re no good to use except
For the eggs where chicks would’ve slept
And serving mothers crispy fried,
Once they’ve been wrung, plucked, and have died.
You watch your goldfish swim each day,
But don’t you still eat fish fillet?
Don’t tell me eating deer’s a crime;
You eat once cute things all the time.