Rorschachs: Dramatic Verse and Somber, Twisted Tales
Blather Chronology
April 25, 2009 — Iyan IgmaSo, I’m submitting the Omnibus of my first three poetry collections as we speak. (Yes, I know, it’s ironic, a collection of collections.) So, I found this section that I had to piece together for it today very interesting.
Chronology for Blather
I have probably left off a couple of them by accident, but this should give you a rough idea of when they were created. On a few, I think the timestamps were later than when they were written, but days like January 2009 are real. When I get into the mood and have the time to write, I do so, often writing a new “poem” every 10 to 15 minutes for several hours.
More Heresies From Iyan Igma
Another Week 15 Mar 08 at 11:40 AM
Mem’ry No Longer Avails 26 Mar 08 at 11:12 PM
Tracking Your Influences 26 Mar 08 at 11:43 PM
Holocaustic Future 27 Mar 08 at 12:11 AM
In Secrecy 27 Mar 08 at 1:51 AM
Too Godawful Bad 27 Mar 08 at 2:11 AM
Starlet Blossom 27 Mar 08 at 2:20 AM
Mindless Work 27 Mar 08 at 2:35 AM
Life’s Unbathed Simplicity 27 Mar 08 at 3:01 AM
Juvenile Lobotomy 27 Mar 08 at 1:59 PM
Ao Meditar 27 Mar 08 at 3:02 PM
Progress, They Call It 27 Mar 08 at 4:00 PM
De Facto Despot 27 Mar 08 at 4:46 PM
Temperate Emotions 27 Mar 08 at 7:19 PM
Across the Thatch 27 Mar 08 at 7:34 PM
Gran Fracaso 27 Mar 08 at 7:45 PM
Neelie Kroes 27 Mar 08 at 7:58 PM
To Quote Bobby 27 Mar 08 at 11:12 PM
Small Jaunts 27 Mar 08 at 11:35 PM
Weight Loss 27 Mar 08 at 11:46 PM
Paltry Reflections 28 Mar 08 at 12:15 AM
March 19, 2008 29 Mar 08 at 3:28 AM
Snowy Temples 29 Mar 08 at 3:51 AM
Wintry Days In Hell 29 Mar 08 at 4:04 AM
Life’s jack-in-the-box 29 Mar 08 at 4:24 AM
This Way 31 Mar 08 at 12:49 AM
A Metallic Girl 31 Mar 08 at 10:34 AM
Lagrimas 2 Apr 08 at 1:27 AM
Meditation in an Embrace 2 Apr 08 at 10:01 AM
Lamaphite 2 Apr 08 at 11:23 AM
Lhasa 2 Apr 08 at 11:30 AM
Paradise Riven 2 Apr 08 at 11:40 AM
The Sweetest Salve 2 Apr 08 at 11:52 AM
Perseverance 2 Apr 08 at 11:59 AM
Mei Beautiful 2 Apr 08 at 12:29 PM
Without a Purpose 2 Apr 08 at 12:45 PM
Slumbering St. Elmo’s Fire 2 Apr 08 at 2:46 AM
Sweet Improbabilities 2 Apr 08 at 3:59 AM
Muito Obrigado 2 Apr 08 at 4:39 AM
My Favorite Author 2 Apr 08 at 4:49 AM
From Silence and In Between 2 Apr 08 at 5:08 AM
Fresh Obsidian 2 Apr 08 at 5:27 AM
Subtle Missteps 2 Apr 08 at 9:05 PM
False Decencies 4 Apr 08 at 1:04 AM
One Sublime Creation 4 Apr 08 at 1:49 AM
Pleasing Cascades 4 Apr 08 at 2:33 AM
Lo Que Sea 14 Apr 08 bet 1 and 3 PM
Uma Coisa Mais 14 Apr 08 bet 1 and 3 PM
Not My Nothingness 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Maldita Juventud 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Poetic Justice 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Catch Me Faithfully 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Dippers Full in Slavery 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Unfettered and Unbound 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Love’s Germination 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Femme Fatal Attraction 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Going off to Dream 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Lo Hare 15 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
On Chopsticks 16 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Anjo 16 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Corozonal Jardin 16 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Pela Luna 16 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Ever So Slightly 16 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Fields of Spring 16 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Sensual Bites 16 Apr 08 bet 6 and 9 PM
Freedom 19 Apr 08 at 12:30 PM
My Hair 19 Apr 08 at 12:35 PM
Cada Noche 19 Apr 08 abt 9:00 PM
On the Bed Where We Loved 21 Apr 08 at 6:00 AM
The State Within 21 Apr 08 at 11:25 AM
Flings Before 21 Apr 08 at 12:34 PM
Reprimand Sarcastic Pride 21 Apr 08 at 12:43 PM
Another One of Those Mornings 21 Apr 08 at 12:53 PM
Ao Morrer 21 Apr 08 at 1:19 PM
Rare Perfection Among Men 21 Apr 08 at 2:00 PM
Self-Mutilation 25 Apr 08 at 11:19 AM
In Intimate Moments 25 Apr 08 at 11:40 AM
The Lack Thereof 25 Apr 08 at 11:53 AM
Obelisk of Babel 25 Apr 08 at 3:30 PM
As Nebuchadnezzar 25 Apr 08 at 4:55 PM
Bathsheba 25 Apr 08
i 25 Apr 08
Lo Merezco 25 Apr 08
Regar Con Lagrimas 25 Apr 08
Hands That Bless and Do No Harm 25 Apr 08
Egonym 25 Apr 08
Sailor Boy 25 Apr 08
Materialism in Perspective 25 Apr 08
Feeble With Strong Rapport 25 Apr 08
Like Each Day Was a Gift 26 Apr 08
Omens with a Simple Touch 26 Apr 08
The Rapist 26 Apr 08
Garden Variety Guy 27 Apr 08
Normalcy’s Untrue 27 Apr 08
Yonder Hollows of Eden 27 Apr 08
Vibrant Life 27 Apr 08
Scorching Epiphanies 27 Apr 08
Neath a Melancholy Moon 27 Apr 08
Five and Twenty 28 Apr 08 at 1:00 PM
As the Thornbirds 28 Apr 08 at 1:10 PM
Burning Beauty Across the Sky 28 Apr 08 at 1:20 PM
Eviscerated Lobes 28 Apr 08
From Pearl to Powder 28 Apr 08
Lake of Love’s Brimstone 28 Apr 08
Natural Causes 28 Apr 08
One Precious Songbird 28 Apr 08
Like Atlas 10 May 08
Where the Dawn Perspires 15 May 08 at 10:30 PM
Mais Do Meu Ser 17 May 08
Doce Darme Por Vencido 21 May 08
Grieve Not the Harvests Past 27 June 2008 at 8:00 Pm
Wornout Bags of Care 27 June 2008 at 8:00 Pm
Life’s Labours Ills 27 June 2008 at 8:00 Pm
Sand Art with My Son 27 June 2008 at 8:00 Pm
Highest Expression of Love 28 June 2008 at 10:00 AM
Eliciting Electricity 28 June 2008 at 10:00 AM
With New Luster 28 June 2008 at 10:00 AM
See Your Sunlight Shine 28 June 2008 at 10:00 AM
Tiny Hands 28 June 2008 at 10:00 AM
Just Ordinary Sers 30 June 2008 at 11:00 AM
With New Luster 30 June 2008 at 11:48 AM
Integrity 1 July 2008 at 5:38 PM
That I AM 1 July 2008 at 5:33 PM
El Vicio de Amor 8 July 2008 at 12:58 PM
Doce Darme Por Vencido 9 July 2008 at 10:06 PM
Through Matted Tresses 10 July 2008 at 11:07 AM
Visage of Serenity 10 July 2008 at 11:16 AM
Ne’er Separated 10 July 2008 at 11:22 AM
The Heart Is Clairvoyant 10 July 2008 at 12;38 pm
Eliciting Electricity 10 July 2008 at 12:45 PM
Like Atlas 10 July 2008 at 12:49 PM
Jinghism 10 July 2008 at 1:31 PM
Let Wasted Years Be 15 July 2008
Transient Gleam 15 July 2008
A Gift for Priceless Love 15 July 2008
Winter Beguiled 15 July 2008
Pièce de Résistance 15 July 2008
Obeisance 15 July 2008
Perennials 15 July 2008
Crafted Perfectly 15 July 2008
Sunshine in a Season of Discontent 15 July 2008
Over and Anew 15 July 2008
Learning Endless Wonders 15 July 2008
Alien to Me 15 July 2008
Movement is Relative 15 July 2008
The Last of the Free Roam Tigers 22 October 2008
Faded Epitaphs 22 October 2008
Salutary Anarchy 22 October 2008
Midnight Reprieve 24 October 2008
The Relic of His Love 24 October 2008
Theo-Tyranny 5 November 2008
Loony Duped Simpletons 5 November 2008
There’s a Conservative Outside My Window 6 November 2008
V.S.O. 6 November 2008
Sentimental Aquifer 6 November 2008
To Mitigate the Rub 6 November 2008
No Hope to Shine 6 November 2008
SWMLFTL 6 November 2008
My Lover’s API 6 November 2008
This Rag 6 November 2008
At Yuletide 10 November 2008
Paedomisia 11 November 2008
True Thanksgiving 11 November 2008
Further 14 November 2008
Wenugichasum 14 November 2008
Layers of Self-Mate Importance 14 November 2008
I Beseech Thee 14 November 2008
My Comfy Placenta 14 November 2008
Lonely Tree 15 November 2008
While You May 15 November 2008
Strangers As Strange As Me 15 November 2008
Pummelos 15 November 2008
Dear John 15 November 2008
A Flummoxed Compass 15 November 2008
Altruism Died with Christ 15 November 2008
Limericks 15 November 2008
The Prodigal Sin 18 November 2008
Tiny Hands 18 November 2008
Alimentar Os Tuburoes 18 November 2008
to nowhere 18 November 2008
Asexual Embrace 19 November 2008
This Skeleton Who Wears My Clothes 19 November 2008
I Walk These Lonely Hills 21 November 2008
Lover’s Leap 21 November 2008
Of Use 22 November 2008
I Defy Buddha 22 November 2008
On Loves True Essence 23 November 2008
Blinks 23 November 2008
naked always 23 November 2008
The First to Go 23 November 2008
And For Dulcinea 23 November 2008
Drenched, Hungry, Unemployed 23 November 2008
The Ambrosia of Blissful Moments 23 November 2008
When No One Can See 23 November 2008
Love’s Martyr 23 November 2008
This world of mimes 23 November 2008
Vigilante Justice 23 November 2008
When I Loved You 23 November 2008
The Lady of Cofitachequi 23 November 2008
You’ll Be a Man 25 November 2008
Still Space left For Me 25 November 2008
Mongol Steppes 28 November 2008
To Look Past Your Psychopathy 5 December 2008
Mother’s Voice 8 December 2008
The Amputee 8 December 2008
Belief 8 December 2008
Beautiful Demise 8 December 2008
My Love is Safely Sepultado 8 December 2008
Absolution 9 December 2008
Enmy 9 December 2008
Pleasures You Would Deny 9 December 2008
Deathbed Confession 9 December 2008
My Next Planet 9 December 2008
Meaningless Sex 9 December 2008
Exus 9 December 2008
Of the Passion that Once Was Ours 9 December 2008
To Coax Me From the Bush 9 December 2008
What Easy Lies 9 December 2008
Having Whet Curiosity 9 December 2008
A Horse 9 December 2008
Little Ants 10 December 2008
Codependent Happiness 10 December 2008
Puesto del Sol del Paraíso 10 December 2008
Lack of Perception 11 December 2008
Our Paths Tend to Diverge 11 December 2008
Incest’s Stigma 11 December 2008
Esquilo Na Vida Pasada 11 December 2008
The First Sweet Grass of the Season 11 December 2008
Bluebells on a Hill 11 December 2008
Worth Your Weights in Chocolate 11 December 2008
Memories of You 25 December 2009
Vingt-six 30 December 2008
Pity Other men 31 December 2008
Make Canis Majoris Dim 31 December 2008
Never told 1 January 2009
Lost Perseids 1 January 2009
Neath a Shroud of Gray 1 January 2009
Guilt 1 January 2009
Sop of Saving Bread 2 January 2009
Merry Philia 2 January 2009
El Zancudo y Tú 3 January 2009
Who You Are 3 January 2009
Helenic 5 January 2009
Gorgon Tears 5 January 2009
Apple Scented Death 6 January 2009
Intelligence’s Curse 6 January 2009
The Bairn’s Vast Energy 7 January 2009
Sobre la Amistad 7 January 2009
better to suicide 7 January 2009
Los Estandartes Tuyos 7 January 2009
Honor Graduate 7 January 2009
Commonality 7 January 2009
Useless Reciprocation 7 January 2009
Dead Joy 8 January 2009
Modestia 8 January 2009
Hermits 8 January 2009
Aguas! 8 January 2009
Lunar Cycle Love 8 January 2009
Going to Pick My Switch 8 January 2009
Giroscopio 8 January 2009
A.S. 9 January 2009
More Worthless tin 9 January 2009
Pollinated Cars 9 January 2009
Croatoan 9 January 2009
Per Buddhist Maxims 9 January 2009
Em Sonhos 9 January 2009
Rechristened 9 January 2009
Igneous Love 9 January 2009
Consecrated in Devotion 9 January 2009
Your Kiln 9 January 2009
Living Feicui 9 January 2009
Joy’s Glimpses 9 January 2009
Tradition’s stronger than logic 9 January 2009
Soy Tu Girasol 9 January 2009
Unconventional, But Not Bizarre 9 January 2009
The Missing Link 9 January 2009
Sunset Frames 9 January 2009
Ostra 9 January 2009
Nothing is so Aesthetic 9 January 2009
Risonanza 9 January 2009
Secretly Awaited 9 January 2009
Primordial Rites 9 January 2009
Soul-Sightsee 9 January 2009
Brute Hedonism 9 January 2009
The One with Whom I Now lay 14 January 2009
A.B.S. 15 January 2009
I watched as you died 16 January 2009
Her Voice 17 January 2009
The Birthday of an Angel 19 January 2009
The Kangaroo and the Horse 20 January 2009
Spider and Wasp 20 January 2009
Meerkat and Magpie 20 January 2009
The Pouch 21 January 2009
Platypus 21 January 2009
Rustic Sense 22 January 2009
Like Camping, But Colder 23 January 2009
The Pachyderm Who Forgave 23 January 2009
The First Murder 24 January 2009
The Flamingo 24 January 2009
The Dementia of Iyan Igma
Chiasma March-ish 2002
Blossom of Divinity June 2004
The Bonds That Make Us Free May 2005
There Is a Peaceful River Sometime 2005
Desalentado December 2, 2007 at
66 December 7, 2007 at
An Obscure Dirt Road December 8, 2007 at
Penelopean December 8, 2007 at
127.0.0.1 December 8, 2007 at
Doloroso Espino December 8, 2007 at
A Pile of Stones December 8, 2007 at
Tortugas December 12, 2007 at
Hey, Crusaders December 12, 2007 at
It’s the Human December 12, 2007 at
Crossed December 12, 2007 at
Frozen Climes December 12, 2007 at
Like Dust on the Shores of Antiquity December 12, 2007 at
Ametheus December 12, 2007 at
Falta de Gratitud December 12, 2007 at
La Mascara December 12, 2007 at
Existence December 12, 2007 at
And Where is Zelicah December 12, 2007 at 10:14 AM
To My Mentor December 12, 2007 at
Wondering My Destruction December 12, 2007 at
What Gifts I Should Bring December 12, 2007 at
As the Paper Swirls Around December 12, 2007 at
And There’s a Lady in the Lake December 18, 2007 at
Where Lies December 19, 2007 at
Story of a Girl December 20, 2007 at
Thefin December 20, 2007 at 10:22 AM
just a pile of lint December 20, 2007 at
& 1 2 Grow On December 20, 2007 at
Will You Clip My Wings Also December 20, 2007 at
Discovering Atlantis December 20, 2007 at
Lamenting Rebuke December 20, 2007 at
Since December 20, 2007 at
Good Intentions December 20, 2007 at
The Rock of Gibberish Altar December 20, 2007 at
Senselessness of Raphael December 20, 2007 at
Fables December 21, 2007 at 9:48 PM
Swappin’ Spit December 21, 2007 at
Despair in Christ December 23, 2007 at
The Rites of Elzenakhim December 23, 2007at 4:03 PM
The Happenstance God December 23 2007 at 10:46 PM
Duma Distanca December 24, 2007 at
To a Coy Madam December 24, 2007 at
The Interrogation December 28, 2007 at
A Teenage Girl in the Garden of Eden December 28, 2007 at
Captive December 29, 2007 at
Ignance or Pessimismo December 29, 2007 at 10:22 AM
Loki Loves Me December 30, 2008 at
A Quarter Century December 30, 2008 at 12:10 AM
Thevoid December 31, 2008 at
Unity of Faith January 1, 2008 at 11:36 AM
Mocked by Flies January 1, 2008 at
Cauterized January 1, 2008 at
La Grande Rue January 1, 2008 at
Atypical Lass January 1, 2008 at
Passing a Stranded Dinghy January 1, 2008 at
Carne Afresh January 1, 2008 at
Narcissist’s Fate January 1, 2008 at
Thought Suppressant January 1, 2008 at
Accounting Text January 1, 2008 at
Cliff Diving from Heaven January 1, 2008 at
Collect January 1, 2008 at
Little Tree January 1, 2008 at
Nuclear Waste January 1, 2008 at 5:24 PM
On the Bahamas January 1, 2008 at
Sublimation January 1, 2008 at
The Sandbox of Eternities January 1, 2008 at
Love’s Autumnal Dimension January 1, 2008 at
The Monotony of Love January 1, 2008 at
Tommy January 2, 2008 at
Dorolatry January 2, 2008 at
Which Part Of Me Is Me January 2, 2008 at
Weeding Out My Life January 2, 2008 at
0 K Turkey January 2, 2008 at
Sweet Delilah January 2, 2008 at
Hadrian’s Wall January 2, 2008 at
Touch January 2, 2008 at
Spending Winter January 2, 2008 at
Tan Orgulloso January 2, 2008 at
Miss Nomer January 2, 2008 at
Who Is This Lady in the Mask January 2, 2008 at
Benchlukewarming January 2, 2008 at 7:52 PM
Death Like April Rain January 2, 2008 at 8:24 PM
Pestered in Ruralia January 2, 2008 at 11:25 PM
Near-Life Experience January 2, 2008 at 11:53 PM
Dam Plans January 3, 2008 at 12:05 AM
Timber January 3, 2008 at 12:23 AM
Deciphering Hieroglyphics January 3, 2008 at 12:24 AM
A Once January 6, 2008 at 10:32 PM
Manna Alone January 6, 2008 at 10:38 PM
Silicon Papillon January 7, 2008 at 12:00 AM
Bambi Is Shure Good Eatin’ January 7, 2008 at 12:37 AM
We Darted January 9, 2008 at 11:17 PM
The Divine View January 9, 2008 at 11:25 PM
Pieces of the Puzzle January 9, 2008 at 11:27 PM
The Food Cycle January 9, 2008 at 11:29 PM
Clinging to Service January 9, 2008 at 11:33 PM
Infantile Emulation January 9, 2008 at 11:35 PM
Embrace of Brotherhood January 9, 2008 at 11:37 PM
A Failed Putin January 9, 2008 at 11:40 PM
On Chris Dodd January 9, 2008 at 11:41 PM
Laying Here January 10, 2008 at 12:53 AM
Florus Matrimonialus January 11, 2008 at 12:03 AM
Defying Grave and Gravity January 11, 2008 at 12:53 AM
A Living Lie January 12, 2008 at 1:43 AM
Local Warming January 12, 2008 at 1:48 AM
Quality Care January 12, 2008 at 1:10 PM
Beseiged by Myself January 16, 2008 at 6:08 PM
Fit for an Ode January 16, 2008 at 6:10 PM
The Bond that make Us Free January 16, 2008 at 6:13 PM
Oubliette Affectueuse January 19, 2008 at 11:06 AM
Drizzly Birdbath January 19, 2008 at 11:11 AM
Filial Solitude January 19, 2008 at 12:04 PM
Yoked Folk January 19, 2008 at 12:16 PM
Pair of Docks January 19, 2008 at 12:43 PM
Reminders January 22, 2008 at 7:37 PM
El Afluente Joven January 22, 2008 at 7:39 PM
Serotonin Eternities January 22, 2008 at 7:42 PM
Seeping Warmth January 28, 2008 at 7:45 PM
Healthy Dosage of Paranoia January 28, 2008 at 7:48 PM
Subconsciously Suicidal January 22, 2008 at 7:49 PM
Descortes Sin Pensar January 22, 2008 at 7:52 PM
Poor Equestrian January 22, 2008 at 7:55 PM
Semitism January 22, 2008 at 7:56 PM
The Solstice Has Passed January 22, 2008 at 7:59 PM
Philanthropy January 22, 2008 at 8:00 PM
Tactile Memories January 22, 2008 at 8:04 PM
A new Tin Roof January 22, 2008 at 8:05 PM
Yet I’m Sardonic January 22, 2008 at 8:07 PM
By the Kite’s String January 22, 2008 at 8:11 PM
Water Temperature January 22, 2008 at 8:12 PM
Viral Munity January 22, 2008 at 8:14 PM
Fecal Orchid January 22, 2008 at 8:16 PM
We’ve Been Waiting January 22, 2008 at 10:58 PM
Lucasta January 23, 2008 at 1:47 AM
State Senator Sennacherib January 25, 2008 at 12:35 AM
Advancement January 26, 2008 at 11:46 AM
J’ai Faim January 30, 2008 at 1:58 AM
Stalinist Act January 30, 2008 at 2:00 AM
Amero and Nohejl January 30, 2008 at 2:01 AM
President Hinckley January 30, 2008 at 2:51 AM
Stradivarius January 30, 2008 at 4:22 AM
The Joust January 31, 2008 at 10:19 AM
Cognizant January 31, 2008 at 11:00 PM
Barbary Corsair February 2, 2008 at 5:15 PM
Strangling the FOIA February 2, 2008 at 11:57 PM
Young Love’s Mettle February 4, 2008 at 5:54 PM
Eyak February 4, 2008 at 5:57 PM
Woman’s Work February 4, 2008 at 6:11 PM
Dizzying My Dreary Brains February 4, 2008 at 7:23 PM
Yaerick February 4, 2008 at 7:44 PM
Sine Imperium February 4, 2008 at 8:08 PM
Saturation February 4, 2008 at 8:43 PM
Love Still Reigns Supreme February 4, 2008 at 9:00 PM
Castes and Races February 4, 2008 at 11:04 PM
Cazándote February 4, 2008 at 11:45 PM
On Dangerous Genetic Ground February 5, 2008 at 12:51 AM
Acción de Gracias February 5, 2008 at 1:18 AM
Heavenly Mothers February 5, 2008 at 1:48 AM
Life with Nephi February 5, 2:04 AM
Fidel Ossification February 5, 2:24 AM
A Strange Thing Twice February 5, 2:51 AM
Tierra Reseca February 5, 2:57 AM
Linux the Divine February 5, 3:30 AM
Similar Phonemes Feb 5, 2008 at 5:45 PM
To Have Loved Erroneously Feb 6, 2008 at 1:01 AM
Yellow Iraqi Ribbons Feb 6, 2008 at 2 AM
Abruised Feb 6, 2008 at 9:28 AM
Faerie Tales Feb 6, 2008 at 12:29 PM
Georgia on an Overcast Day Feb 6, 2008 at 12:50 PM
Dear Mom, Feb 6, 2008 at 9:52 PM
Me Profanaste Feb 6, 2008 at 10:52 PM
Planning for Old Timer’s Feb 7, 2008 at 12:52 AM
No Atonement Feb 7, 2008 at 1:31 AM
Quechua Bruins Feb 7, 2008 at 1:45 AM
And Uncreate Feb 7, 2008 at 1:55 AM
Lillith Strigoi Feb 7, 2008 at 5:07 AM
Carcinogens Feb 7, 2008 at 9:35 AM
Minervosa Feb 8, 2008 at 1:31 AM
Contagious Day Feb 8, 2008 at 9:23 AM
Post-Secondary Feb 8, 2008 at 10:29 AM
Seditious Supplication Feb 8, 2008 at 11:25 PM
The First Time Feb 8, 2008 at 11:51 PM
A Customizable Love Feb 9, 2008 at 4:16 PM
Blue Boy Feb 9, 2008 at 4:27 PM
From a Forb Feb 9, 2008 at 5:29 PM
Complex Braits Feb 9, 2008 at 5:37 PM
Juglandaceae Feb 9, 2008 at 6:06 PM
De Plenum Feb 9, 2008 at 6:33 PM
Opinioes Feb 9, 2008 at 7:36 PM
Matryoshkas Feb 9, 2008 at 7:58 PM
Gosling Dander Feb 9, 2008 at 8:08 PM
Avoidance Feb 9, 2008 at 8:20 PM
Vetala Feb 9, 2008 at 11:19 PM
Upside Down Feb 9, 2008 at 11:55 PM
Biznicracia Feb 10, 2008 at 1:10 AM
Gaseous Feb 10, 2008 at 1:21 AM
Imanes Feb 10, 2008 at 1:31 AM
Ma Queue Feb 10, 2008 at 3:16 PM
Like Verdun Feb 10, 2008 at 4:10 PM
Miniocrity Feb 10, 2008 at 4:23 PM
No Echinoderms Feb 10, 2008 at 4:38 PM
In Jubilee Feb 11, 2008 at 6:26 AM
Sentimental Ring Feb 11, 2008 at 6:45 AM
The Green Zone Feb 11, 2008 at 7:26 AM
Lingua Franca Feb 11, 2008 at 9:38 AM
Terror Del Demora Feb 11, 2008 at 10:45 AM
Public Sensitivity Feb 11, 2008 at 11:12 AM
Goodly Wife Feb 11, 2008 at 11:28 AM
Endorsements Feb 11, 2008 at 1:00 PM
An IQ Feb 11, 2008 at 1:45 PM
Like Picking Up Jordan Feb 11, 2008 at 2:36 PM
On My Honor Feb 11, 2008 at 4:12 PM
The Allure Feb 11, 2008 at 4:47 PM
Tending the Demon Child Feb 12, 2008 at 12:50 PM
Porqueria Feb 12, 2008 at 7:26 PM
Incarnate Loveliness Feb 13, 2008 at 9:09 AM
White Mammoth Feb 13, 2008 at 5:00 PM
Soujihearts Feb 13, 2008 at 11:29 PM
Helios Feb 13, 2008 at 11:06 PM
Final Responsibility Feb 13, 2008 at 11:44 PM
Hemicracia Feb 14, 2008 at 1:37 AM
San Valentin Feb 14, 2008 at 5:30 AM
Too Verbose Feb 14, 2008 at 11:36 AM
Dairy Air Feb 14, 2008 at 11:49 AM
In the Shadow of the Noose Feb 14, 2008 at 6:50 PM
Adverb ’tis munts Feb 14, 2008 at 10:05 PM
A Bad Tradition Feb 15, 2008 at 12:47 AM
Reverse Psychology Feb 15, 2008 at 1:00 AM
Black Topsoil Feb 15, 2008 at 1:12 AM
Our Plague Feb 15, 2008 at 1:23 AM
Any Awning Feb 15, 2008 at 1:45 AM
In Moments Negated Feb 15, 2008 at 2:09 AM
Eglantine Feb 15, 2008 at 2:26 AM
Thy Physiognomy Feb 15, 2008 at 2:52 AM
A Stranded Perpetuity Feb 15, 2008 at 3:17 AM
Acetylcholine Overdose Feb 15, 2008 at 3:45 AM
& Euphrates Feb 15, 2008 at 12:51 PM
Slap Yore Mamma Good Feb 18, 2008 at 3:42 PM
In Need of Antibodies Feb 18, 2008 at 3:51 PM
Crummy Old Pulmonary Disorder Feb 18, 2008 at 4:16 PM
Aversion Feb 18, 2008 at 6:55 PM
Hierodule Feb 18, 2008 at 8:04 PM
Just Like a Woman Feb 18, 2008 at 8:30 PM
El Anillo de Hera Feb 18, 2008 at 8:46 PM
Sullying Names Feb 18, 2008 at 9:06 PM
Die Radikal Feb 18, 2008 at 9:34 PM
Nod to Eden Feb 18, 2008 at 10:00 PM
Indian Giver Feb 18, 2008 at 10:15 PM
Politicos Feb 19, 2008 at 6:43 AM
A Poor Substitute for Oxytocin Feb 19, 2008 at 7:55 AM
No Me Digas! Feb 19, 2008 at 12:39 PM
Room and Board Feb 20, 2008 at 12:04 PM
Arco Iris Feb 21, 2008 at 9:29 AM
Kosovo Feb 22, 2008 at 10:19 PM
Traspasando Feb 23, 2008 at 1:40 AM
Metamorphosis Feb 23, 2008 at 8:49 AM
Ultramatums Feb 23, 2008 at 9:04 AM
Yore Vittles Feb 23, 2008 at 9:23 AM
Death Taxes Feb 23, 2008 at 10:05 AM
On Pasternak’s Zhivago Feb 23, 2008 at 1:45 PM
To Isakson and Chambliss Feb 23, 2008 at 2:14 PM
Posthumous Circumnavigation Feb 24, 2008 at 1:39 AM
An Overview Feb 24, 2008 at 1:26 PM
Monroe Doctrine Feb 24, 2008 at 1:39 PM
The Katydid Sighed Feb 24, 2008 at 10:20 PM
Financial Aids Feb 24, 2008 at 11:11 PM
The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma
Unfortunately, I have no log and Google Docs cannot come to my timestamp rescue for The Repressed Memories of Iyan Igma. Pretty much everything really atrocious like the Fear, Loathe, Forgive sections, and all the B-Sides were written when I was at the end of my 16th year. The better stuff came mainly towards the end of my 17th year. Only a handful of things were written when I was 18, most notably the “To You” sonnets.
The Rock of Gibberish Altar
March 20, 2009 — Iyan IgmaThe Rock of Gibberish Altar
by
Iyan Igma
I burnished my armour till my fingers were sore,
And girding it on, the gods I did implore.
Confident that I could neither fail nor falter,
Much like the Moors in the Rock of Gibraltar,
I sallied-forth from my keep a maiden to woo,
And with each plodding hoof-beat, my love only grew.
I thought of her virtues that so oft were extolled,
And occasionally my heart I had to scold
For thinking what’s unbecoming of chivalry.
Through forests I ventured and down by the sea.
Scarcely did I notice—my mind was a whirl.
Oh, the things that one will do just to get a girl!
I never considered the peasants I knew,
After all, they’re hackneyed like the town where I grew.
Now after for riding for a weary week,
Quite certain that my strength had sprung a leak—
For I scarcely stopped to eat or to sleep,
And even my horse had started to weep
Like a useless vow—the chateau came into view;
And with reckless abandon towards it I flew.
But no heralds or trumpets sounded my approach;
Vaguely I saw that darkness the land did encroach.
But rather than use prudence and turn away,
I pursued my course to that chateau cold and gray.
How is it that the moat and drawbridge did greet
Me alone? No sentry stood at guard on his feet.
If I had listened to reason, instead of pride,
I would have never planted a cursed foot inside.
But my ambition for my fair lady proved strong,
And I found that my feet carried me right along.
Laying on the altar at the foot of the stair,
I saw that my maiden didn’t have any hair.
I rationalized myself to this thinking that
If she went out in public, she could wear a hat.
I bent down to give her a passionate kissing,
And that’s when I realized all teeth her were missing.
But before I could shrink back in harrowed dismay,
Her eyelids flipped open and she pulled me her way.
Her stench seeped into me like moldy osmosis;
She rudely exposed me to her halitosis.
My, how my first kiss was a brutal disaster!
Our union’d fail if built on such a pilaster.
Releasing me, she stared—and one eye was lazy.
I began to wonder then if I were crazy
To have disavowed the damsels of my home town
For this? But now the portcullis was coming down,
And, kicking and screaming, I had to drag her out.
Ladies should never throw temper tantrums or pout
Because they’re being rescued by a gallant knight.
Yet on exiting, I saw the cause of her fright.
A pitch wyrm had just swallowed my steed with a slurp,
And it turned to her screaming with a fiery burp.
Though I told her, “Don’t panic,” she seemed quite afraid.
I ran at it and hacked at its head with my blade.
I thought that it laughed as its blood rusted my sword,
As I punctured a scale, time seemed in fast forward.
The wyrm roared like the last blast from a cannonade,
Pouncing as I impaled his gnarled head on my blade.
My heirloom, this sword, snapped in two as did his pate,
Brimstone billowed forward. I moved, but was too late.
As my hair shriveled and my skin did crisp,
My damsel came near, talking with a lisp.
A mist gathered as she did ensorcell,
The sunlight perished as she worked her spell.
My spirit was nigh to leave the planet
As she made me bite a pomegranate.
As the wave of anguish started to ebb,
I felt like a fly in her spider’s web.
The realization raised my hackles:
No princess could make such ghastly cackles.
The bite that she took made my heart falter,
For she’d married us at Hades’ altar.
“I’ll call you my pet, even if you mind.
Why is it, you ask, that you didn’t find
The princess you’d heard of lying in bed?
How could it be that you found me instead?
It’s simple really, she is my sister,
And she took pity on me, a spinster.
In my mirror we watched your approach,
And she traded you for my hen claw broach.
You’re much too handsome for her, for she’s seen
The stunning oft are self-centered and mean.
The gallant are all ruled by empty mores
Who love naught but the fame of their forays.
They think that, until they burst down their doors,
Princesses lay sleeping getting bed sores.
They come thinking true love can break the spell,
With less sense than an empty wishing well.
How can you love someone you never knew?
Are attraction and glory love to you?
And though she’s developed an apathy
To love, she does not live in misery.
She couldn’t dwell with an ignoramus.
Because they can’t get her, she’s now famous.
She asked me to guard her here to escape
The wooing of many a jackanape.
The dragon we summon most of the time
To rid ourselves of the vermin and slime.”
Just then the dragon’s corpse started to rise,
And she could sense the sheer dread in my eyes,
For I had no blade with which to combat.
Calmly she told me, “Don’t worry ’bout that.”
Her snapping fingers petrified the beast,
Until the next time they’d need him, at least.
“I was overjoyed to have made the switch.
It’s not often a knight weds with a witch.
So that you know, I am still a princess,
Just one none would marry without duress.
Despite the rumors, I am rather sweet;
I would gnaw the warts right off of your feet.”
“Charming,” I thought ruefully of my bride.
Then, she led me to her chambers inside.
“I know this is hard; to help you withstand
This night I’ll slip into something more grand.”
I saw her glow as she did imprecate,
Changing form so that we might consummate
The marriage that like Jacob I entered.
Perhaps she’s right, and I am self-centered.
“Beauty is skin deep,” the wise men have said.
I’ve seen what lies ‘neath the skin of the dead,
And it’s no muse for composing sonnets
To gorgeous dames whose hair’s trapped in bonnets.
If I e’er o’ercome the sight of her skin,
I’ll find a beautiful witch trapped within.
When I looked on her, I saw that without
The beauty of ages o’er her did sprout;
I even saw ivory when she smiled.
I’d come for a princess and been beguiled.
In the end I’d settled. ‘Twas just my luck.
When I reached for the zipper, it was stuck.
Bullfrog
March 20, 2009 — Iyan IgmaBullfrog
by
Iyan Igma
Bullfrog woke up on a cool spring day. The sun was shining. The skies were blue. Birds were singing, and the water was warm.
“I don’t remember going to sleep in water,” he said to himself. “Oh well, it feels nice enough. Why mess up a good thing.”
So, he immediately peed in the water. Looking around, he noticed that the water was black, and so was everything immediately around him.
“I must be in a mud hole,” he concluded. “Well, at least it’s too small for crocodiles.”
Bullfrog continued to lay in the water. As the day went on, the water got warmer. But that was normal. He just continued to lay there resting, enjoying “the life” in his new found mud hole.
“See mom, I told you that frogs don’t move if you just slowly turn up the temperature,” a little boy told his mother. She came over to the camp stove and looked at the bullfrog.
Moral: Ignorance is bliss
Dasypeltis
March 20, 2009 — Iyan IgmaDasypeltis
by
Iyan Igma
Dasypeltis, the egg-eating snake, was out for a stroll one day. He had his top hat and cane, and was working up the courage to ask out someone he’d had his eye on for quite some time. As anyone who’s ever tried to ask out another snake knows, it is terror on the nerves. He only wished that he had butterflies in his stomach, since eating calms his nerves. As he was strolling along, he happened upon a nest.
“Ah, an egg,” Dasypeltis said. “Finally, something to soothe my nerves.”
Dasypeltis looked around to see where the parents were. It was strange not to find a parent close by. Perhaps one was hunting, and the other was off cavorting with dysentery. In any case, they would soon return. He would have to act quickly. After all, once the egg was missing, not even his top hat and cane would quiet suspicions. It was his nature to eat eggs, no matter how much he claimed to be reformed,and everyone knew it.
He hurriedly unhinged his jaw, and slid the egg into his throat. About the time it hit his stomach, he prepared to crack it open and spit out the shell. As he did, he began to gag.
“That egg must have been a dud! It must have been there for a year or more.”
Gagging and coughing, he rushed home trying to get rid of the stench of rotten eggs. But it was no use. Unfortunately, he grew used to the smell, and believed that it was gone. Satisfied, he went off to ask out his dear. What was his surprise when she turned him down.
“You’re gross, you rotten egg sucker! I wouldn’t go out with you in a million years!”
Dasypeltis wondered who had told his secret. It was probably one of those mockingbirds. They were such gossips. They’d planted the egg just to get back at him for an innocent snack or two. His paranoia slowly drove him insane. He never kissed another serpent for years.
Moral: Avoid high cholesterol diets. Some eggs should never be sucked.
Slug
March 20, 2009 — Iyan IgmaSlug
by
Iyan Igma
Slug came out of his hole in the garden. His extensible eyes looked around for predators. He didn’t see any. Then, he looked on the ground. It had been snowing.
“I’ve never seen snow before!” Slug exclaimed. “I hope it stays for Christmas.”
He rushed as quickly (for a slug) as he could to slither through it, making snow angels. As he was in the process of making a snowball, he began to convulse violently. Slime started to ooze from his body.
“What’s wrong with him,” asked Blue Jay as he frolicked in the birdbath, trying to figure out if Slug was safe to eat.
“He didn’t get the memo,” said Frog puffing on a cigarette compulsively. “It didn’t snow.”
“What an idiot,” said Pigeon as he was pecking at grains of rice.
“Yeah, total retard,” said Seagull as he swallowed bits of Alka Seltzer tablets.
Moral: Slugs shouldn’t play in salt.
Vulture
March 20, 2009 — Iyan IgmaVulture
by
Iyan Igma
Vulture was fastidious. He had to have his feathers groomed and kempt in a certain way. He only drank from the cleanest waterhole, which he had to fly an hour to reach each day. He never squawked off key. He kept his nest compulsively ordered. In short, he was an oddity among carrion.
His family learned to accept his ways. Vulture was what he was, and he wouldn’t change. Once he left the house, they were all happier, since life was so much easier. They began to drag home bits of whatever they found lying around, just to express their freedom.
Buzzard was Vulture’s only friend. They made an interesting pair, too, since Buzzard was arguably the sloppiest creature on the planet. His apathy towards order and cleanliness at home spilled over to his appearance. It was possible that he’d never groomed his feathers.
When Vulture would come back from his water hole each day, he’d wake Buzzard.
“Finally finished your bathing and watering ceremonies, Vulture?”
“Yes. You finally finished being a lazy slob?”
“Nah. But I am ready to go get a bite to eat.”
With that they would fly off into the air, circling and scouting for something tasty. Buzzard could care less what it was. As long as it was dead, he was satisfied. But Vulture was a lot more picky, which goes without saying.
One morning they stumbled across a dead hyena.
“Great, a feast prepared for us, Vulture!” Buzzard exclaimed.
“No, you go ahead. I’ll pass. Hyena’s give me gas,” Vulture declined.
“Well, maybe we’ll find something else,” Buzzard said wistfully. He regretted passing the Hyena up, since that meant that he would have to go looking some more. But, a friend’s a friend, and they should stick together.
Pretty soon, they found the carcasses of flattened opossums.
“Look, Vulture, Possum. They’s good eatin.”
As Buzzard began to dive down, Vulture called after him, “But I had those yesterday.”
Buzzard groaned, his stomach calling to him. But he followed along after Vulture. Soon, they found the remains of a snake.
“This is it, Vulture I can’t take it any more. I’ve got to get something to eat.”
“Okay, you go ahead. I think that it’s been dead for a couple of days. The meat’s probably no good. I’ll catch up with you later.”
Buzzard went down and feasted on the snake. He convinced himself that it tasted like the hyena and possum that he’d passed up. Buzzard finished and returned to his nest to sleep.
But Vulture never found anything suitable for his delicate palate. It’s not easy being a connoisseur when you’re a vulture. His search for what lay beyond what he could find brought him to the desert. By the afternoon, he was weak, hungry, and thirsty. Exhausted, he collapsed to the earth.
When Buzzard woke up that afternoon, Vulture was nowhere to be seen. So he set out to find him. Along the way he found dead bodies and snacked. He grew more and more worried as he couldn’t find his friend. He was determined to find him though, since that’s what friends are for. As night fell, he found Vulture lying in the desert.
“Vulture, are you okay?” Buzzard asked as he descended from the skies. He was worried because his friend wasn’t moving. He landed beside Vulture and nudged him with his beak. When Vulture didn’t respond, Buzzard realized that his friend was dead.
He leaned over solemnly and gave his last respects. Then, he took a big beakful of Vulture.
“Delicious!” He exclaimed, “I’m glad he spent all that time eating and drinking all the finest things!”
Then, Buzzard took another bite. But after all, that’s what friends are for.
Moral: Never let a perfectly good carcass go to waste.
